THOMAS QUINN

I find that the ratio of twitter followers to people you follow on twitter is a direct indicator of your internet-cool-factor (yes, I’m this to a very junior high level). Quantity of followers doesn’t mean anything if people are only following you because you follow them. It breaks down like this: Take the number of followers you have and divide it by the number of people you follow. That will give you your score. For example, as of writing this, I have 109 followers and I follow 166 people, so my score would be 0.65.

Here is what various scores say about you:

0.1 and lower
(1 followers / 10+ following)
You are at home in a dark room writing hateful comments on every article you can find. You @reply to writers and celebrities telling them how terrible they are at what they do. You run a blog dedicated to your favorite show mainly so you can talk about how much you hated the finale.

0.111 to 0.19 
(1 followers / @6-9 following)
You are at home in a lit room writing comments about the same article, but in a civilized manner. You frequently @reply to celebrities in a sad attempt to get them to reply back to you. You are the kind of person who finds strange pride in being the first commenter on popular news sites or blogs.

0.2 to 0.29 
(1 followers / 4-5 following)
You are at home reading article comments, but don’t regularly participate. You @mention celebrities to try to get them to retweet you on your birthday so you can brag about it on your blog that no one reads.

0.3 to 0.9 
(1 followers / @2-3 following)
You might not be sitting at home, but you probably spend more time than you should on the internet on your phone. You have a blog that some people read, but not enough to justify how much time you spend working on it. You don’t waste time reading article comments.
[I fall under this category, though my ratio is currently 1/1.5]

1 to 1.9 
(1 followers / 1 following) [under 500 total for each]
You have a healthy life/internet balance. You let the internet come to you. You spend more time hanging with real friends than you do staring at twitter. However, you are the kind of person who sends Facebook event invites to your entire friend list, even your friends who don’t live in the same city as you.

1 to 1.9
(1 followers / 1 following) [over 500 total for each]
You are using twitter purely as a way to spam out your message. You aren’t actually reading tweets, you just spit stuff out and follow a ton of people in an attempt to trick them into following you. You are annoying.

2 to 4.9 
(2-4 followers / 1 following)
You may still spend too much time on the internet, but you do so in a way that is interesting to others. You have a semi-successful blog.

5 to 19 
(5-20 followers / 1 following)
You are officially popular on twitter and may have a blog with thousands of regular visitors. People are interested in what you have to say because you have a more interesting life than they do.

20 to 99 
(20-99 followers / 1 following)
You are a legit celebrity in whatever you do. Not famous in a way in which people will recognize you when you walk down the street, but if your profession has a conference, you might be one of the speakers.

100 to 999 
(100-1,000 followers / 1 following)
You are a semi-successful stand up comedian or musician with a good following, but you still play smaller clubs, or you are a superstar in your non-Hollywood related profession. If your profession has a conference, you are the keynote speaker.

1,000 to 9,999 
(1,000-10,000 followers / 1 following)
You are a legit celebrity, and very likely pay someone to tweet for you.

10,000 and over
(10,000+ followers / 1 following)
You are Justin Bieber.